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Traplain Crystal Saiyge


Traplain Crystal Saiyge

 I am Minister Crystal Saiyge.


I design, arrange, and provide virtual experiences, spiritual care, and inspirational talks.

Sometimes I call the talks "sermons", and sometimes I say dharma talks (Buddhism).

All talks cover multiple faiths and beliefs.

Same gist--good shit. 

Cliff Notes about me and FAQ:

Background: In ministry since I was a child.

Graduated from seminary with my Master's in Theological Studies in 2017.

Served as Co-Minister & Community Organizer at The Sancutaries, DC for 3 years (a social justice& interfaith art collective.) See more.


Beliefs: I am interfaith, agnostic, and Buddhist. I preach from religions around the world. Joy and ecstasy are divine. I believe in all beings everywhere being free and that Love is god and we are all connected by that love.

Goal: I aim to strengthen the faith in what you already believe in, or help you deepen your belief in yourself, which will lead to peace. My goal is you feeling free and unburdened by anything, from religion to finances to good edges.

Ministry Offerings: Currently offerings :

Trap Country Karaoke ,

The Lotus Grief Toolkit,

Preaching and Art&Design Services 

There are also Sex-Positive Member Only offerings, including a blog and invite-only femme chat. See more 

Payments & Tip Jar: Regular services should be paid through the Tip Jar link and discussed prior.


Everything else is tip or barter as I believe in dana, defined in Buddhism as offering for teaching as the lessons are a gift from the heart.


My wish list is updated  periodically


Minister Crystal Saiyge

the Traplain (Trap Chaplain)

minister- verb. to tend to the needs of someone the way you'd truly, truly want your needs to be tended upon

                 noun. one who serves tha people

chaplain- verb. to meet the spiritual needs of communities while being in community spaces

                noun. one who serves their Chapel

traplain noun.  Me, as I use the unique experience and voice that is all things trap 

to free my people from the need to be respectable


Get Lifted #ChurchoftheBando

Savanna's Shoppe (shortened version)- tired of waiting on something better?

Everything Crystal Saiyge
Savanna's Shoppe (shortened version)- tired of waiting on something better?
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Savanna's Shoppe (shortened version)- tired of waiting on something better?
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Savanna's Shoppe (shortened version)- tired of waiting on something better?

Let’s talk self-worth right quick !
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Let’s talk self-worth right quick !

The Ghost of Dreams Past- Sermonette/Dharma Talk
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The Ghost of Dreams Past- Sermonette/Dharma Talk

"Won't you celebrate with me" by Lucille Clifton
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"Won't you celebrate with me" by Lucille Clifton


#ChurchofTheBando Stuff  2024

This is a judgment free, lay your hair down space for Trap Karaoke. In 2024, we are doing a lot of my favorite version "Trap Country" so you can belt out some of that Cowboy Carter or some Party in the USA. Also any other genre is always welcome. Karaoke only has one rule-- have fun.

Also-- please be advised that this is not a space where language is policed. If you are uncomfortable with AAVE/Ebonics that is used in Black music, ie. "go crazy", "standing on bidness", "imma spazz on this track" , this would not be a comfortable space for you.


This is also a Black-centered space. 

See more:

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Spiritual Care #GetLifted

Visit the #ChurchofTheBando page for talks/sermons and Black Girl Magic playlists. This is a space for those that have not aBANDOned all faith but are tired of the fluff and hamster wheels.

Let's really dig deep and embrace all the

lessons the spiritual leaders of the world, past and present, have to offer. 

You will also find Sexy Sex Ed here. 

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The Lotus Grief Tool Kit

This tool kit should help you wade through the difficulty of grief. This will include Covid-19 info, interfaith prayers, book recommendations, and videos. May you be like a lotus, finding stillness in muddy waters.

Lotus in Bloom

Multimedia Connections

The "Young, Gifted, Black, and Lonely'" blog, patreon and discord sign-up are here. Real community awaits.

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