Important things, in no particular order. 

What is your "why"? 

This is my why.

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I define allyship as a deep, robust, unapologetic, unearned friendship with different people groups.

True friendship takes thoughtfulness, awareness, selflessness and customization.

If you learn to treat allyship as friendship it will be impossible for it to be performative or to just hang it up when it's uncomfortable. A real friend doesn't let their grandma talk about you when you leave the room! 

A real friend doesn't make blanket solutions for all of their friends.

And a real friend tends to their soul when it grows weary and learns how to be their best self in order to be the best of friends (aka the best of allies). 

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I have always felt like I was too young to be in a space..too gay...too unholy...too loud...too dark...

and I wished that all my friends and family consistently stood up for me the same way they did when I was around. After many years, I began to reflect on all the ways our self-esteem and personal values and loyalties cause us to teeter in and out of conviction. Our "why" is often a moving target, which makes allyship so hard to stick to when the cameras stop rolling.  

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In 2020, a very close friend of mine passed away a week after George Floyd was murdered. In the thick of Covid-19, with my autoimmunity and fibromyalgia, I felt too paralyzed and too disabled to be a part of the movement. So, I stayed up for 24 hours and created this website to offer a space for allies to ask hard questions and it grew into a complete web of exchanging embraces. I learned that more people could benefit from understanding unconditional love and that friendship has various levels, so my grief turned into this.

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Who.

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This workbook is intended for all types of people groups at various levels of understanding--- Queer, Black, Indigenous, White, Neurodivergent, Disabled, Cisgender, infinity and beyond. 

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What. 

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Some things you will learn: 

• White Supremacy Culture is taught to all of us and how it shows up in our lives (yes, Black folk too)

• Centering yourself may be ruining your friendships 

• Poor self-care can lead to white savior complex

• Choosing which conversations are worth having 

• Ways to combat what I call "ally-fatigue" and support the movement year-round

• How the limitations of science and academic institutions perpetuate inequity

• How to develop your own spiritual lens towards allyship based on your own beliefs and philosophies 

• The importance of protecting your peace and how to set healthy boundaries (for marginalized groups who are tired of people's b.s.)

• Simple ways to explain this stuff and make sense of it (Critical Race Theory? Pronouns? say what ?! ) 

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How.

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This workbook is expressed through stories, lessons, poetry and activities that are easy to understand.

YOUR involvement will be key, so that you will walk away with a plan that is customized to live out your values. 

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When. Where.

I am going to say Summer 2022 is my final answer-- sorry. This project got way bigger than I intended but now there is a whole team working to turn it into an actual workbook with activities and images. It should actually be in stores (*gush*) but for now I will be mailing it directly to you.